I wanted a dog, and that was that. Eric succumbed to my feminine wiles, and we got Adley.
We were both still in college and living together, but we were not engaged. We were at that point where we knew that the engagement was the next natural step, but there had been no talk of when or how.
If you look to the left, you'll see an engagement picture. And yes, Adley is in it. We did the shot at the playground of the preschool where we met. Aw....I know.
Anyway, getting Adley was a pretty bold thing. I was so lost in the joy of getting a dachshund that I did not really take the time to think about what it meant for my relationship with my now husband.
A dog, though for cheaper at the start, is a lot more official than an engagement ring. The dog, if both parties fall in love with it to a ridiculous extent, is more binding than any amount of diamond and metal.
I think I can honestly say that the day we brought Adley home was the first day of the rest of OUR life. Before it was just me and him, but when a puppy entered the equation, we were suddenly slapped with far more responsibility than we anticipated.
Our relationship was strong enough to withstand the major life shift, but we had worked hard to get where we were. A couple should seriously evaluate what they can handle. A dog can be a great thing--my husband and I have learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship.
It is incredibly easy to fall in love with a puppy. I do it all the time, but for the sake of my marriage, those dogs have to stay where they are. We have our two dogs, and I really think that any more than that would be overwhelming. We only got Adley, and later Radish, after some serious discussions about where we were going. A dog can be a twenty year commitment, and in a way, getting Adley represented our readiness to make that serious of a commitment to each other.
How have your dogs changed the way you see your partner and relationship? If you don't have a partner, how seriously involved would you have to be with someone before you considered getting a dog with him or her?
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I got my dog Bailey when I was single. It was interesting to see how some guys I dated reacted to me having a dog; a lot seemed to think that it automatically implied too much "commitment" on their part. It was OK, though - Bailey helped me weed out a lot of not-so-cool guys.
I really wanted my boy to be in town with me when I went to get Lucy from the pound. That didn't work out so well, so he didn't get to meet her until almost a month after I had her. While she doesn't know how to feel about a strange guy being around her Mom, he loves her. Even if she is a little obnoxious at times.
I'm excited to see their relationship in the future. I know she'll warm up to him eventually. But the process of warming up? It's going to be hilarious.
Ike has actually helped me weed out the crap guys when I was dating again. :) He is a good judge of character...He once peed on a guy...and also hid all the time from this same guy. Deal breaker!
Jane: Sounds like Bailey did you some favors!
Ep: That will definitely be fun! We got ours together, but it was still fun to watch everyone warm up to each other.
Mel: Hah! I love the warning signs!
Adopting Calvin was a huge step in our relationship. Since it's a much more complicated ordeal for us to have kids, our canine companions may be as close as we can get for some time. And I'm not downplaying how much work a baby is but a puppy is definitely a good trial run.
We had to learn how to 'parent' together. We had to keep ourselves in check to remember that we're responsible for a living thing's well-being and that's more important than staying out for that one last drink. We had to realize that we were officially in it for the long haul. Not that we weren't, but the puppy solidified the commitment.
There's no ditching each other now...
Ben: That's pretty much how it was for us, too. We're pretty sure we want to adopt, and no crazy person would let us take a kid home right now anyway because we're not settling down for a while, so the pups were it for us. We have to plan everything around them, and that has made us so much more responsible!
Absolutely. I also find it puts my life into complete perspective. Yeah, maybe I'll have a shitty day at work or maybe we'll get in an argument, but we still have two dogs with wagging tails that need us to pull it together. We can't let them suffer because we're cranky or lazy or selfish.
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